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Silent Sunlilght

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Its been a while [24 Nov 2006|10:11pm]
Its been a long time since I posted. I can't even remember when the last time I posted and what was going on.

Anyway the newest thing in my life is that I had my second little boy.. Tristan James. It was a very short very painful labor! From start to finish it was 1hr 23mins. By the time I got to the hospital they couldn't give me drugs, so I had to do it naturally. It was the most pain I have ever felt. But the recovery was much easier the second time around. Anyway Tristan is doing good. He was born on 11/15, 8lbs 13oz, 22 inches.

Having 2 babies so close in age is hard! Its hard to try and pay enough attention to Ethan and be able to meet Tristan's needs. Luckly Mikie is here for 2 weeks then his mom is coming from Utah till mid December, so I will have alot of help.. I am a little worried about whats going to happen when its just me and them. I am scared I won't be able to give each one of my babies the attention they deserve :( I think this has made me decide not to have any more kids..... well maybe once Tristan is at least in preschool!!
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[02 Apr 2006|11:01am]
[ mood | happy ]

I found out last week that I am pregnant!!! I am so happy! Mikie and I have been trying for about 6 months now! I know its a little early to get so excited, I haven't even passed my first trimester, but I found keeping all my feeling in was making me really paranoid.

My Dr said I could make an appt with I was 8 weeks along and we can look at the baby on the ultrasound.

Mikie is hoping it is a girl this time, for me I don't really care, a boy would be cheaper since we have all the stuff already. But a girl would be fun too. At least we won't be fighting over names this time. If its a girl it will be Lilyanna Mae if its a boy Tristan James or Alexander James.

The best thing about my pregnancy so far no sickness, the worst part man i am so tired, i feel asleep at the dinner table the other night!!

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Work [09 Oct 2005|06:20pm]
Well I started working again two weeks ago, and I absolutly hate it! I mean I never really liked it in the first place, but now that its keeping me from my baby, I hate it even more. I just want to stay home, but living in the bay area.. there is just no way. I have even gone so far as trying to get Mikie to transfer to Ottawa or Paris with his work, but he doesn't want to leave. And I don't think I really do either, but I think I would do just about anything not to go to work anymore. The only good thing about my work is that I love the people who work there, its always good to see them. The hard part is by the weekend I really don't want to do anything else but be with Ethan, because I feel I take to much time away from him during the week. So I flake alot more, but I don't really care.. its worth it.
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Back to Work [19 Sep 2005|01:17am]
Well as of now I have 1 week before I have to go back to work. I am not looking forward to it, and hate it even more now than I did when I left. Mainly because I know I have to work to be able to live, but that this job is keeping me from the most important thing in my life, ETHAN.He is growing up so fast, and I don't want to miss any of it. I feel that me being gone 40+ hours of the week I am going to miss so much of his life. I love spending every day with him and watching him discover the world. It seems like every week something is new and interesting and he gains more muscle control, makes new sounds.. what if I miss him when he first starts crawling......I would be very dissapointed.

I'm having even more issues because it seems the older Ethan gets the harder it is to babysit him. The last two times my mom babysat he had fits and wouldn't eat. He would get himself so worked up and tired he would cry until he wore himself out and fell asleep and then would wake up again and start crying. The first time there was nothing I could do I was at the Dentist. Today Mikie and I were at the sharks game w/Lawrence, Jer, Greg and Monica and had to leave at the end of the second period, because my parents could not calm him down. I am supposed to go to Vegas in October to see Ave q, I am only going to be gone 1 night, not even 24hrs, but now I am having second thoughts, maybe he is to young for me to be gone this early. Mikie told me to wait and see how he is in Oct, but I think I have made up my mind. I guess I should wait and see, maybe after staying home with Mikie and not having me around for a while he will get used to it....HOWEVER its so nice when he is upset and he sees me and he all of the sudden starts smiling and then leans towards me. He knows I am here for him and he trusts me.

Motherhood is the best thing in the world, I want it to be my full time job, maybe someday in the future I will get my dream....but probably not, since it costs so much to live here and we aren't willing to move.
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My New Life! [07 Aug 2005|11:12pm]
[ mood | loved ]

I just finished watching Six Feet Under (my fav show), and because of what happen the past two shows it just made me think about how much I love Ethan, and how I simply could not live without him.

Wow my life has changed so much since having Ethan, I can't believe he has been with me for almost 3 months now! I love having him with me, he makes me want more babies! A little part of me misses being able to do what I want, go where I want any time of the day I want to do it. But he is so worth it. I could go out more often, but I feel guilty leaving him, I just miss him so much, its like as soon as I walk out of the door a piece of me gets left behind and I feel so empty, and when I come back and hold him my whole world just becomes better. I have never felt a love like I feel for Ethan, its so different because its so instant. Like with your family you grow up loving them and you just know you have always loved them, and with Mikie I new right away he was it, but it still took time to fall in love and create our life together. But with Ethan, I felt him in my stomach and I was in love with him, and when he came into this world he was my everything, I couldn't imagine living without him, and I loved him more and stronger than I thought I could in such a short time. I can't imagine life without him.

I know I am being so sappy, but I guess that is just part of being a MOMMY... I don't want him to grow up, I wish he could stay this small forever.

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Motherhood [01 Jun 2005|08:02pm]
Wow!! Its almost been 2 weeks since I had Ethan, it has flown by. I love being a mom! Unfortunaly it comes with no sleep and sore boobs! Its all worth it. Even the horrible labor was worth it! My mom said I would forget the pain once I saw the baby, she is CRAZY!! I don't think I could ever forget it, but it won't stop me from having another baby! ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS TAKE THE DRUGS!!! I was lucky they let me take the drugs after I was already 9 cm dialated. Normally they wouldn't let you at that point, but they didn't think I was going to make it. I was also lucky that it didn't slow down the process, I basically went through the whole labor minus the pushing part with out drugs. And the pushing part still hurts, probably not as bad as it would have, but you still feel all that pressure. Anyway Ethan's heart rate ended up going way down at the end, so I was lucky he came quick and ended up having no problems. My whole labor was a little less than 10 hrs. But only about 4 of that was hard labor.

Anyway Motherhood is awesome! Ethan is great! I can't stop staring at him, he is so beautiful. Its weird how your life just changes and all of the sudden you don't ever want to be apart from someone. Its a different kind of love that I have never felt. I just want to be here to protect him all the time and be there for him. I just hope Mikie and I will be good parents and that we will have a great relationship with Ethan. I am hoping to have a second baby in 2 years. So I will probably try to get pregnant a year from now .
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He Has Arrived! [22 May 2005|07:13pm]
Ethan Scott has Arrived!!!

I am so happy to say that Ethan was born on May 19 @ 5:45 AM.

He is 7lbs 4oz and 20 1/2 Inches! He is adorable.

http://tinyurl.com/9rkrl

http://www.zo.com/~smilez/ethan/
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Arg! [14 May 2005|10:59pm]
Well I am 10 days away from my due date.... I am hoping He decides he wants out of my tummy early!! Maybe I will be as lucky as my co-worker. She was 5 days early, she just had her baby on Tuesday. He is soo Cute!

I had my last and final shower today. I had alot of fun! but part of me is glad all these things are over, I don't really like being the center of attention. Also I got sick this last week! arg!! I have a sore throat and I developed a cough last night. It wouldn't be so bad if I could actually take some kind of cough suppresent, but I can't so I just have to deal with it.

I am getting a little scared about labor too, as much as I want this baby out of there, I wish there was an easier way to get it out! hehe why hasn't modern technology learned how to zap it out hehe... anyway I am very determined to have this baby naturally, I think a needle in my spine scares me more than the pain. I don't think I will really know until I get to the hospital, what I really hope is by the time I feel like I need it I will be to far along for them to give it to me. That way I just have to deal with it. We will have to see how that goes.... I just can't wait till this pregnancy is over! THEN I WANT A BEER!!! heeh I bet it only takes me 1/2 of one to be drunk! I haven't had any alcohol in a little less than 8 months.. I would say 9 but I would only be lying, I didn't know I was pregnant until I was already 5 weeks and I did alot of drinking in that 5 weeks... well I had softball games, weddings, and strip clubs (which is how this baby was conceived in the first place) I need to stay away from the strip clubs. To much BEER makes Chrissy a little to WILD! hehe

Anyway maybe by the next time I post, it will be baby pictures!
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Maternity Leave [02 May 2005|04:34pm]
Well I have been on Maternity Leave a week. I have gotten some stuff done but I haven't really reached that nesting period. I don't think I will, anyone who knows me knows I am just not the type, but who knows. hormones make you wacky.

I had my Dr appt today. I was hoping she would tell me the baby has dropped or that I have started dialating, but no nothing arg!! My next appt is in 2 weeks, hopefully the baby will come before then!

Anyway I don't have much more to talk about maybe I will in a week or two.
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Maternity Leave - Day 2 [26 Apr 2005|02:50pm]
Arg! I think I am already bored, and its only been 2 days. NO I guess not really bored, just feeling lazy, I don't really feel like doing much.

Today I spent sometime returning things that I got from my shower, well mainly I have a ton of baby clothes for 0-9 months so I returned some of it and got 12 months. I would have gotten things the baby would need sooner, but they places I returned the stuff to basically only had clothes to choose from, which is fine. I can only handle shopping for small periods of time, but the walking around does me good, and who knows maybe it will make this baby pop out sooner. as Spongebob would say "I AM READY I AM READY!!"

This weekend was nice. On Saturday, my family threw a shower for me at Mikie's mom's house. Maryanne made a quilt that all our family members could put a handprint on. I thought it was really nice of her. It was my favorite gift.. I love it when people make stuff for me! Saturday night Mikie and I went to Maggianos with Leslie and Julian. It was fun, but I got tired really fast so it was an early night. On Sunday Steph and Nick came to stay for a night. Unfortunatly we didn't do to much, except go walking around the Great Mall and play Bubble Bobble.. I love that game!!

And yesterday I turned 27, arg! I just keep getting older. We went to Khan's garden for dinner!! HAD SOME YUMMY EGGROLLS!!

I can't wait till my co worker gets on maternity leave, then we are planning to go walking together, then I will have someone to hang out with during the day!
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[14 Apr 2005|08:51am]
A year has gone by so fast!! Mikie and I are going to be celebrating our 1 year anniversary on Sunday!! I thought we would be going on a cruise or to Hawaii, but under the circumstances we are going to Monterey.. which is fine by me. We leave tonight, but not before going and getting massages at a Spa in Los Gatos! I can't wait, I am so sore and tense.. I think the massage will be good for me. Then we are going to the Aquarium on Friday! I haven't been to the aquarium in over 5 years. My parents and Mikie's mom and neice are going with us to the aquarium and then Mikie's dad is going to meet us all for dinner. I am so happy our parents get along. My dad and his dad even went to an A's game together this week. Its so different than the relationships my parent's parents have - which is none. But now I don't have to be so nervous about our parents hanging out or feeling uncomfortable with each other. Even though they have alot of different opinions and different beliefs, they can put all that aside and actually get along! its AWESOME!!!

Things have been really good for me lately. I only have one more week at work before I go on Maternity leave and then its just a waiting game! We still have not picked out a name for the baby so its a little fustrating. Its a little freaky knowing I will be responsible for someone else's life, but its really exciting too. I can't wait to see him and I am definitly looking forward to getting to know him. Its also great knowing people having babies around you, that way you don't have to go at it alone. I just can't believe how fast its gone by, I hope all my pregnancies are this easy.. but I am not going to count on it.

Hopefully I won't get to bored while I am no maternity leave, everyone says I will go through the nesting thing - but I can't see myself being that way. Anyone who knows me I am not the nesting type, but who knows hormones do weird things to you. I am hoping to finish crocheting the baby blanket I started, and work on the scrapbooking stuff, so hopefully that will keep me occupied.

Time for me to get ready for our trip
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Playing sick [23 Mar 2005|10:04am]
So Today, I have decided to call in sick. Not that I am sick, but to tell you the truth I haven't gotten much sleep, and I think I just needed a ME day.
I thought I would sleep in a little, but Mikie is on a new schedule at work and since he had to get up at 5:30, I woke up at 5:30 and then spent the next 2 hrs trying to fall asleep.. which didn't work! Not only that, but once the alarm goes off, the baby wakes up and starts doing karate in my stomach.. something I guess I should start getting used to now.

On a good note, as of yesterday I have one more month before I go on Maternity Leave!! So if the baby comes on time, which is not likely, I will not have to go back to work for about 5.5 months!! YIPPIE!!

I am so impatient I wish the baby was already here, things are just coming together nicely and we are making all the preparations for his future. The nursery is all set up. My mom has gone crazy buying all new boy clothes!
Yesterday we finally finalized all the ppwrk & pymt plans to store the babies cordblood, and we are working on getting the extra screening tests done. We are going to set up 2 bank accounts once the baby is born one for school for 1-12 and one for college. I hope we will be able to save enough by the time he is in Kindergarten for him to go to a GOOD private school... my wish would be that he will go to Harker.

The only thing we haven't been able to figure out and agree on is a name. It took us forever to agree on a girls name, now we have to start the whole process over again. I already know what I want and he knows what he wants so I guess it just becomes who is more stubborn. Or who knows maybe we will find a totally different name that we both can agree on...
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ITS A BOY!! [09 Mar 2005|09:47pm]
Well I thought I was having a boy, but tonight we went and had another ultrasound and come to find out we are having a BOY!! Which makes me very happy. I really was happy about having a girl, but in the beginning I really wanted a boy, so I guess I got my wish.

If you want to see pics of the 3D ultrasound here is the website

http://www.zo.com/~smilez/ultrasound/3d/
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Time Flys [13 Feb 2005|10:02pm]
Time has flown by, and I am already 6.5 months prego. I am pretty lucky so far I don't even feel like I have been pregnant that long. And I haven't been as tired as I was in the first trimester. At least Mikie and I finally picked a name: Lilyanna Mai. I love it!! Anyway our little Lily is now very active. I can now feel her kicking all day long. Which is nice most of the time, but she kicks her hardest right before bed or in the morning, which sucks because it either keeps me up or wakes me up... I guess its something I should get used to.

Besides that not much as been going on. I try to keep my activities down to a minimum, last weekend I overloaded myself and ended up sick on Monday. We started our Softball season a couple weeks ago, we are 1-1. I really wish I could play again. I am hoping I will be able to play again by Summer season, we will have to see what the dr says. My parents said they would watch the baby on those nights. I just miss it all! I had so much fun playing and I was just starting to get better, now I will have to start all over...hehe and no more brass rail for me! I don't need to get prego again ; )

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!
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She Kicks!! [23 Jan 2005|12:55pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Finally Mikie was able to feel the baby kick this morning!! It felt like she was doing Karate!

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Arg!! [12 Jan 2005|10:16pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Finding a name Mikie and I can actually agree on has been very hard. We do not like any of the same names, and its getting frustrating. I don't like to wait till the last minute, and I am sick of people asking if I have come up with a name yet, but this only bothers me because I wish we had a name picked out!! Alot of the names you find out there are just too common or too crazy! Like who would name their kid Cinnamon - sounds like an animal name!

The names I have found that I like so far are: Aaralyn, Imogen, Kohana & Lilianna. Some of the names Mikie has picked our are Emma & Mai (which I vetoed).

Anyway besides that all is well, I haven't been able to feel the baby yet :( , but I did get to hear the heartbeat yesterday, so it made me feel a little better. Just to know the baby is okay. I just wish it would move a little bit. My doctor told me that she thinks I might be gaining weight to fast. I have gained 12lbs and I am 21 weeks along. I don't really look big or feel big but I guess I will do what she says and stay away from too much sugar and salt.. better for us anyway. I was also told I can't do Curves any longer.. so now I have to find another exercise program or another gym that has treadmills, bikes, and maybe some classes. I am going to try and take a prenatal yoga class, and get back into Tai Chi, and I have to get out and walk more. Hopefully the rain stays away so I can do more walking.

I also had to do alot of work on looking of maternity leave laws, since my work was telling me alot of wrong information. So I had to take it up with the Union and hopefully now things will change, I just feel bad for all those people they cheated out of their leave and made them come back way earlier than they needed to.

There are so many things to prepare for..... sometimes I feel like I am not ready and my pregnancy seems to be going by so fast. And I know my maternity leave will go by really fast too, I wish I didn't have to go back to work.

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Happy New Year!! [01 Jan 2005|06:02pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve.

I spent my New Years Eve in SF with Mikie and alot of my close friends. Which was really nice because I haven't seen them in a while. I got tired pretty fast and so did Mikie so we ended up leaving soon after counting down the New Year.

This morning I went to New Years Gongyo. It was great to see everyone, and everytime I go I feel so good after. I really should get back into practicing... I really just need to make the time to go. I always seem to be busy on the day of the meetings.

I am sooo HUNGRY!! I am trying to save all the room I can for New Years Dinner!! My favorite meal of the year!


Well I need to get ready to go.....

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19 weeks [28 Dec 2004|06:00pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I am now 19 weeks along, not much has changed except my stomach size, luckly thats the only place I am gaining weight. I look like I am holding a basketball under my shirt. well a miniture basket ball for now.

I had a nice holiday, we got to see alot of our friends, and Elise even came and spent a couple days with me. I really miss her being around. Its been a long time since we have had one on one time. I didn't really get to spend alot of time with her by myself last time she came. Its always nice to get to hang out. I am hoping I can talk her into coming down again when I have my babyshower.

We had Christmas Eve breakfast with Patrick, Missy, Kelley and her new boyfriend Chris. It was great to spend time with them! And its really great to see Kelley so happy! And when we came home Mikie and I decided we would be to busy on Christmas day to exchange gifts so we exchanged gifts that night. hehe Mikie gave me a diamond braclet - its so pretty!! and he also gave me some cds that I really wanted including the soundtrack for Avenue Q, I really wish I could see the Musical because the soundtrack is hilarious.

On Christmas Morning we had breakfast with my parents and then we went to Mikie's parents for dinner. It was really nice, Mikie's mom made me a quilt it was beautiful and she made the baby PJs.

On Sunday we had Chritmas with my side of the family, since Steph had to work on Christmas day. It was nice to see everyone, and the baby got spoiled with clothes and blankets.

All the activities left me really tired, and I think it made me feel a little sick :( but it was all worth it.

I hope everyone had a great holiday!!

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ITS A GIRL [15 Dec 2004|09:47am]
I just found out I am having a Girl, so its time to start looking for girl names... any suggestions?

I also found out I am farther along. My new due date is May 24th.

Here are the pictures of our new girl:

http://www.zo.com/~smilez/ultrasound/
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16 Weeks [14 Dec 2004|09:40pm]
Well I am now 4 months along. The pregnancy seems to be going by fast, and I am lucky so far it hasn't been so bad. In the next month I should be able to start feeling the baby kicking!! And tomorrow I will find out if its a boy or girl!! .. hopefully.

Anyway this weekend was nice. We went to Disneyland, and met up with Kelley and her boyfriend Chris. Its the first time we were able to hang out with him and get to know him. He seems like a really nice guy and they seem to be really happy. Although I had fun, my endurance is really low when it comes to walking around all day and after the first full day I was really tired, and I couldn't really handle walking around Disney for long periods of time. So I ended up taking long breaks at the hotel and soaking my feet. But I am still glad I went. I really wish I knew what I was having so that I could have bought a Christmas Ornament for the baby. I am hoping next year I will know someone who is going to be going around Christmas so I can give them money to buy an ornament for me.

Anyway my day starts early tomorrow so I gotta to get to bed. I will post pictures of the ultra sound tomorrow.
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